What a WEEKEND! pt. I: DETHKLOK + MASTODON @ Hollywood Palladium.

Jaya and I went to see one of the MOST BLACKEST AND BRUTAL-EST SHOWS OF ALL TIME: Mastodon and Dethklok played a show at the Hollywood Palladium on the 20th and it was ridiculous fun.

Firstly, metal shows aren't REALLY my scene. I like wearing black as much as the next indie/hipster/bougie/douchebag, but apparently not as much as metal fans. Metal fans have a grrrreat aesthetic- long scraggly hair, tight black jeans, worn-in t-shirt, chains a'plenty, and denim jackets all around.

Secondly, I didn't really care for Mastodon (why? because any encore that feels longer than the actually set is TOOOO MUCH) but the graphics that played on the screen behind them during their set was all kinds of messed up freaky:  B+W video of an old man dying with galactical images superimposed; animation of dying horses and whales.

I can't really emote how much I LOVED seeing Dethklok/Brendon Smalls on stage so PICTURE MONTAGE TIME!

Mastodon on stage.

Mastodon on stage.

 

Waiting for Dethklok to get on stage.

Senator Stampingston: Gentlemen, it's clear that we're in a universally precarious situation. Dethklok has summoned a troll.    
General Crozier: That's impossible, there's no such thing as trolls. 

Senator Stampingston: Then how do you explain the dead unicorns?

 

 DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK! Dethklok takes stage.

A mosh pit was forming to the right of us, like a gale-force wind hurricane.

 Someone loves Nathan Explosion! The hoodie of the dude standing in front of me.

As the show ends, the crowd is getting into full METAL MODE: rock hands out! I didn't participate because I don't think my hands would let me.

Always famished after a good show; Jaya's plate @ Norm's.

Here are some of my all-time favorite quotes from one of the funnniest shows on television: Metalocalypse. Make sure when you're reading them that you're wearing adult diapers because you'll be peeing in your pants.

Senator Stampingston: Gentlemen, it's clear that we're in a universally precarious situation. Dethklok has summoned a troll.

General Crozier: That's impossible, there's no such thing as trolls.

Senator Stampingston: Then how do you explain the dead unicorns?

--

Nathan: Well hey bodybag! How's it going? [impersonating bodybag] Smells like somebody took a crap in here! [normal voice] Ohh, bodybag! Well, look bodybag, it's your old friends Brains! [holds up a brain with flies around it, an elderly person gets ready to vomit] [Nathan impersonating brain] Hey idiot! I'm Brains, I go in your head. [The elderly person vomits]

--

Nathan: Do it again, Toki. Take 164.

Skwisgaar: Just... let me record it. Each take gets worse! He's slowly learning how to unplay the guitar.

Toki Wartooth: I can hear that. The talkback mike is on.

Skwisgaar: Pickle, please let me know when the talkback mike is on so that Mr. Sensitives don'ts goes to crysbabies house for vacation?

Toki: I can stills hear you.

Skwisgaar: So, what do you want? A be-able-to-hear-things award?!

Toki: Eh, not really. Doesn't sound like a greats award, to be honest.

--

Nathan: And now, the blackest present for the most brutal of all bass players... [the gift box falls open, empty] ... NOOOOTHING!

Murderface: Oh, you suck! You all suck!

Nathan: Awwww, what's wrong?

Skwisgaar: Ah yeah, go play records backwards and kill yourself.

Pickles: Hey fatso! We got your favorite thing: disappointment!