"It's perfect in every way.": A Tattoo Adventure.

As much as I LOOOOOVE tattoos, I DESPISE getting them.

It combines two of my greatest hates (nooo, noo, not "fears." I, like Chuck Norris, FEAR NOTHING. HAAAAAA.): needles and socially ambiguous/awkward situations.

+I hate foreign, sharp things repeatedly stabbing me (I had to choose my words carefully because there's a baaaad joke in there, somewhere, that I'm not gonna even touch).

+I hate small talk.

+I REALLY hate talk of any kind while getting tattooed.

+I hate looking into the dead faces of people as I try to explain something simple with the rickety hand movements and incomplete sentences (i.e. "I want... A yeah... No, I get it...").


However, HOWEVER, this past Saturday (small aside: DON'T FORGET, KAYA: 07 AUG 2010 is when you got this tattoo), I had THE MOST PLEASANT TATTOO EXPERIENCE EVER.

When he started tattooing, Tim (aka, the tattoo artist) he asked me, "Sooo, you like Mary Poppins and Julie Andrews?" I mumbled back an answer to the affect of, "I like umbrellas and I wanted this space filled."

Then, THEN, he says, "I loved Mary Poppins as a kid. I thought Julie Andrews was HOT. I hate to say it, but I know that movie BY HEART." BOOOOOOOM. Blew. My. Mind.

Wellll, so now you guys know that I'm a BABY when it comes to getting tattooed, but IT'S PICTURE MONTAGE TIME!!
Moments before I look away in ANGUISH. And CHECK IT, that's me trying to rip a piece of flesh off my thigh.
Clawing thigh.
Me, in noticeable pain. The cat poster can't even calm down my fear, I MEAN HATE.
Pursed Lips.
"It's perfect in every way."
"It's perfect in every way."
And to end this most non-heart wrenching, least-awkward social situation, Tim looked down at the finished tattoo and said, "I don't think there's anything more to do. 'It's perfect in every way.'" 

WHHHHHAT?! WHHHAAT? He DONE QUOTED Mary Poppins. If, for some godforsaken reason, you find yourself in Temecula, CA and you BE ITCHING for a new tattoo, sssh-check out Tim Forbus and Soul Expressions Tattoo Studio.

**EDIT: CHECK OUT JAYA'S MOST AWESOMELY, PARTY-TASTIC EXPLOSION BEAR TATTOO (aka "An Ode To California, the Majestic"). I love it, love it, love it. As Tim put it sooo nicely, "This bear ready to party like it's 1999... or 2011."

Other stimulating conversation highlights that night:
+Man smoking outside shop:"You know you got a ferret in your bag?" Me: "What? (I thought he said "fairy" which CON-FUSED ME)." Man: "You got a ferret in your bag (then he chuckles)." Me (looking at the coon tail keychain on my purse): "Ohh, hahaha, it's a raccoon [tail]! It jumped in my purse!"

+Me (explaining what I want): "Ohhh, and if you could add 'wind', because, you know..." Tim (finishing my sentence): "...Yah, it's in the movie. But you can't really DRAW wind, because it's not a 'thing', you know. You can't 'see' wind." WOH WOH. Thank you for the meteorology lesson (and for another tattooer saying, "Why not make it look like the Morton Salt wind?").

+Tim: "I had a crush on witches." Me: "You mean Angelica Huston in Witches?!" Tim: "Nooo, no, like Samantha in Bewitched. And, she's not a witch, but Jeannie in I Dream of Jeannie. She was hot."

+Tim: "You don't like looking when I tattoo you. Every time I start, I see you look down." Me: "Ahhh! I don't know!! I hate watching! I can't do it!" Tim: "No, no. I get it. Me, though, if I can't see it, like getting tattooed on my back, it hurts more." Me: "Ehhhh (I continue to look at the cat poster to my left).

+Another tattooer to his client: "Fuck you. Ahh, I'm gonna fuck you." Tim to other tattooer: "I'm gonna fuck you 'til you love me." Hahahaahhahha's all around.