I love the wilderness... I think.

Image found on google

Me, my sister, and our friend, The Tapper, ARE GOING CAMPING!

When I told my co-worker, he looked at me and said, "You?"

YES, I go camping. WE go camping. The whole of us go camping. Us, and them, and you, the collective "WE" go camping.

Albeit, it's been 10 years since Jaya and I crashed our high school's science club's camping trip to Monterey, CA, BUT IT WAS REAL CAMPING.

S'mores will be had ("Want a s'more?" "Some more of what?" "No, you want a s'more?" "How can I have some more of nothing if I hadn't had anything?" GIVE ME THE NEXT PART OF THAT QUOTE AND WE'LL BFF'S 4 LYYYYYYFE!).

Forests will be hiked.

Picnics will be laid out.

Maybe a 'lil creek fishing dreams will be fulfilled.

Keep your fingers crossed that I don't falll in lusty-love with the woods, go all Walden-style, and abandon civilization... and that Jaya doesn't find her bear boo, hop on it's back and scream, "Take me home, Papa Bear!"

We'll be seeing you sooooon, Idyllwild, CA.

That's Soooo Stochastic: Hair + Sunglasses Edition.

Awhile back, I was thinking about doing a post on my new, fantastical bright red hair color.

Awhile back, I was thinking of posting up my freshly purchased pink polk-a-dot'd and black polk-a-dot'd sunglasses.

So instead of troubling... myself (me hates me keeping me too busy) of doing two long-winded posts on two things, ONE POST ON TWO THINGS. It's, like, genius.

Since then, I've changed hair colors and gotten new sunglasses, and here's a visual timeline of me... being me.

[Because saying, "That's so random" is soooo early 2000's/"Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County," just say "That's sooo stochastic." You'll feel smart (even if your saying something dumb).]

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To achieve this hair color: A quick bleaching (less than 20 minutes), then mix 80% Adore Haircolor in Crimson Red (or Rich Fuschia) + 20% Adore Haircolor in Purple Rage. I call it my "Ronald McDonald Special Sauce."

From JC Penney's (whaaaa? I know).

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From Target (but years ago, sooo don't go googling it).

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From Mosley Tribe.

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From Alexander Wang (have since been returned do to "fat face").

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Now we move on to the "Brownie Times." To achieve hair color: Wash out as much of the red hair dye as possible, then re-dye with L'Oreal Healthy Look Creme Gloss Color, Medium Brown Truffle 5.

From ASOS.

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From BleuDame.com (I hate this picture, but these are my go-to glasses).

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Thaaaaat's A LOT of face photos, but it's done. DONE DEAL. I've been staring at these pictures for awhile, and NOW I realize why people think I hate them and/or that I'm angry (they reeeeally do. I get a lot of "I thought you didn't like me!", "How come you don't smile?", and "Are you all right?" comments): STOP FURROWING YOUR BROWS, it's bad for your face.

**EDIT: P.S. Went to the Long Beach Flea Market for the first time and it was.... eh. It's hard to get excited when you see THE SAME VENDORS from another flea market THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY TO GET INTO (cough, cough PCC Flea Market- ILOVEYOU).

Before I FORGET: What I wore... the next day.

As my mom would say, this is what I wore to "debut" my new tattoo at the Rose Bow Flea Market, which (as a side note) sucked balllllls because it combined two of my other greatest hates: people and allergies.

I'm going to try to keep my hate (and the length of my post) to a minimum, because, as my horoscope said the other day, "goodness and positive vibes."

IT'S PICTURE-ME TIME:

David Bowie's Young Americans and Tom Petty's American Girl have been on repeat on my Ipod this summer, hence my 70s preppie republican look.

Ms. Smirky McSmirkison. Smile, FACE, SMILE! 

+Clubmaster sunglasses: BleuDame.com.
+Beaded Necklace: Torrance Antique Flea Market (a $3 steal!).
+Blue & cream striped button-up: Salvation Army (another $3 steal!).
+Purse: Torrance Antique Flea Market.
+Coon tail: Indian trading post in Lee Vining, CA.
+Belt: Target.
+Cut-off shorts: jeans turned into cut-offs by ON.
+Oxfords: Rose Bowl Flea Market.

"It's perfect in every way.": A Tattoo Adventure.

As much as I LOOOOOVE tattoos, I DESPISE getting them.

It combines two of my greatest hates (nooo, noo, not "fears." I, like Chuck Norris, FEAR NOTHING. HAAAAAA.): needles and socially ambiguous/awkward situations.

+I hate foreign, sharp things repeatedly stabbing me (I had to choose my words carefully because there's a baaaad joke in there, somewhere, that I'm not gonna even touch).

+I hate small talk.

+I REALLY hate talk of any kind while getting tattooed.

+I hate looking into the dead faces of people as I try to explain something simple with the rickety hand movements and incomplete sentences (i.e. "I want... A yeah... No, I get it...").

HATES YOUS THINGS.

However, HOWEVER, this past Saturday (small aside: DON'T FORGET, KAYA: 07 AUG 2010 is when you got this tattoo), I had THE MOST PLEASANT TATTOO EXPERIENCE EVER.

When he started tattooing, Tim (aka, the tattoo artist) he asked me, "Sooo, you like Mary Poppins and Julie Andrews?" I mumbled back an answer to the affect of, "I like umbrellas and I wanted this space filled."

Then, THEN, he says, "I loved Mary Poppins as a kid. I thought Julie Andrews was HOT. I hate to say it, but I know that movie BY HEART." BOOOOOOOM. Blew. My. Mind.

Wellll, so now you guys know that I'm a BABY when it comes to getting tattooed, but IT'S PICTURE MONTAGE TIME!!
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Moments before I look away in ANGUISH. And CHECK IT, that's me trying to rip a piece of flesh off my thigh.

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Me, in noticeable pain. The cat poster can't even calm down my fear, I MEAN HATE.

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MY NEW TATTOOOOOO!:

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And to end this most non-heart wrenching, least-awkward social situation, Tim looked down at the finished tattoo and said, "I don't think there's anything more to do. 'It's perfect in every way.'" 

WHHHHHAT?! WHHHAAT? He DONE QUOTED Mary Poppins. If, for some godforsaken reason, you find yourself in Temecula, CA and you BE ITCHING for a new tattoo, sssh-check out Tim Forbus and Soul Expressions Tattoo Studio.

**EDIT: CHECK OUT JAYA'S MOST AWESOMELY, PARTY-TASTIC EXPLOSION BEAR TATTOO (aka "An Ode To California, the Majestic"). I love it, love it, love it. As Tim put it sooo nicely, "This bear ready to party like it's 1999... or 2011."

Other stimulating conversation highlights that night:
+Man smoking outside shop:"You know you got a ferret in your bag?" Me: "What? (I thought he said "fairy" which CON-FUSED ME)." Man: "You got a ferret in your bag (then he chuckles)." Me (looking at the coon tail keychain on my purse): "Ohh, hahaha, it's a raccoon [tail]! It jumped in my purse!"

+Me (explaining what I want): "Ohhh, and if you could add 'wind', because, you know..." Tim (finishing my sentence): "...Yah, it's in the movie. But you can't really DRAW wind, because it's not a 'thing', you know. You can't 'see' wind." WOH WOH. Thank you for the meteorology lesson (and for another tattooer saying, "Why not make it look like the Morton Salt wind?").


+Tim: "I had a crush on witches." Me: "You mean Angelica Huston in Witches?!" Tim: "Nooo, no, like Samantha in Bewitched. And, she's not a witch, but Jeannie in I Dream of Jeannie. She was hot."

+Tim: "You don't like looking when I tattoo you. Every time I start, I see you look down." Me: "Ahhh! I don't know!! I hate watching! I can't do it!" Tim: "No, no. I get it. Me, though, if I can't see it, like getting tattooed on my back, it hurts more." Me: "Ehhhh (I continue to look at the cat poster to my left).


+Another tattooer to his client: "Fuck you. Ahh, I'm gonna fuck you." Tim to other tattooer: "I'm gonna fuck you 'til you love me." Hahahaahhahha's all around.