Hirsute Pursuit: Cousin It.

What I WISH my hair would look like:

From Google Images.

Who am I kidding? Here's how I want my hair to ACTUALLY look like:

Also From Google Images.

Where my hair's at- about, ummm 5 feet short of my "Cousin It Hair Goal" dreams. That's cool, though, COOL. No worries, no worries. I'll get there soon enough:

Insert appropriate Willow Smith/"I whip my hurrrr back n forth" comments... NOW:

**BECAUSE SHE SOUNDS LIKE A DEMON FROM HELL:
I'm sure everyone's heard of the FAAAAB-U-LOUUUS Rebecca Black by now with her monstrosity of song, Friday. And YES, my co-worker and I listened to it about 4 times at work and conversed about Ms. Rebecca's dilemma of "which seat should [she] take" or "partying, partying yeah" (with a rapper? stop following schoolbus, you creepy pedo).

But the best video remix to come out of this viral sensation is this one. IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S SUMMONING THE DEVIL OR MUSTAKRAKISH (wait for it at 4:08, but hide inside your closet because a dethtroll is a'coming for you):

That's Soooo Stochastic: Hair + Sunglasses Edition.

Awhile back, I was thinking about doing a post on my new, fantastical bright red hair color.

Awhile back, I was thinking of posting up my freshly purchased pink polk-a-dot'd and black polk-a-dot'd sunglasses.

So instead of troubling... myself (me hates me keeping me too busy) of doing two long-winded posts on two things, ONE POST ON TWO THINGS. It's, like, genius.

Since then, I've changed hair colors and gotten new sunglasses, and here's a visual timeline of me... being me.

[Because saying, "That's so random" is soooo early 2000's/"Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County," just say "That's sooo stochastic." You'll feel smart (even if your saying something dumb).]

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To achieve this hair color: A quick bleaching (less than 20 minutes), then mix 80% Adore Haircolor in Crimson Red (or Rich Fuschia) + 20% Adore Haircolor in Purple Rage. I call it my "Ronald McDonald Special Sauce."

From JC Penney's (whaaaa? I know).

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From Target (but years ago, sooo don't go googling it).

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From Mosley Tribe.

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From Alexander Wang (have since been returned do to "fat face").

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Now we move on to the "Brownie Times." To achieve hair color: Wash out as much of the red hair dye as possible, then re-dye with L'Oreal Healthy Look Creme Gloss Color, Medium Brown Truffle 5.

From ASOS.

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From BleuDame.com (I hate this picture, but these are my go-to glasses).

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Thaaaaat's A LOT of face photos, but it's done. DONE DEAL. I've been staring at these pictures for awhile, and NOW I realize why people think I hate them and/or that I'm angry (they reeeeally do. I get a lot of "I thought you didn't like me!", "How come you don't smile?", and "Are you all right?" comments): STOP FURROWING YOUR BROWS, it's bad for your face.

**EDIT: P.S. Went to the Long Beach Flea Market for the first time and it was.... eh. It's hard to get excited when you see THE SAME VENDORS from another flea market THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY TO GET INTO (cough, cough PCC Flea Market- ILOVEYOU).

Lunatic Fringe.

For the past few months/years/lifetimes, I been on this "grow out my bangs/hair" bender. Inevitably, however, there is always someone('s beautiful, beautiful hair) that brings back to the dark side.

This time, it's Daisy Lowe.

Thanks GOOGLE for making me reevaluate me hair situation.

Ahhhhh, LOOK AT THOSE BANGS. Look at 'em! It's crazy bananas how shiny they are, let alone their fullness. Aggghhh, that sounds vaguely stalker-y.

Thanks again, GOOOGLE.

Maybe, MAYBE, with the right amount of wax, mousse, and hairspray, and probably the coaxing of a round brush and blowdryer, I, TOO, can achieve maximum fringe.

That is, before they grow tooo long and unruly.

Maybe? MAYBE.

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**OTHER HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Found all images via HOY, Google, and my sis.

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***FOR GOOD MEASURE:

Ohhh, that got old FAST. Lunatic Fringe by Red Rider. LOOK IT UP. Greeeat song.