"Don't be a dick, be a DUDE!" The 101's jab to the jugular.

This past weekend, Jaya and I tried to make it out of the city to go up north for a impromptu daytrip.

OOHHHHHH the possibilities!!! Up to Gilroy for the Garlic Festival! Or to Santa Barbara for whatevs! Or to Solvang for aebleskivers! But the 101 was unrelenting and, after 2+ hrs. in my '96 Corolla (aka Cooper Nielsen), we only got as far as Camarillo and Oxnard. DAAMMMNNS YOUSE, FREEWAY, DAMMMNNNS YOUSE! I'm shaking BOTH OF MY FISTS at you! FISTS IN THE AIR! SHAKING LAZILY!!!!

All right.

Camarillo was a bit of a bust. We hit up the outlet stores but only came away with a bra and some chocolates (aside: J's boobs and my sweet tooth are in better shape). We did manage to find a tiny thrift store (called Thrift Store?) were we found an avocado green hardware drawer (with tiny comparments) that reminded me of this giant drawer we saw at the Fairfax Flea Market.

My "new" drawer v. one of my many, MANY dream drawers.

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We then trucked on to Oxnard where we happened upon the Salsa Festival and another thrift store. We made a quick stop at the festival were stuffed our faces with tacos, macho nachos, and churros, but strangely enough, not that much salsa. A festival of LIES - joking, but I (I mean Jaya) ain't gonna pay $$ to taste "Salsas of the WORLD." Bogus.

At the "Mission Bargain Center Thrift Store," we had some gooood picture time and my car was a couple of lbs. heavier with the purchases of a wool coat and an olde-tyme Chinese whet stone.

PICCCTTTURE TIMMMMME!!

Paling around the Salsa Festival.

Picked up some salt water taffy.


Jaya spotted it blocks away from the festival. GOOOOD eye.

On left: What J came with; On middle & right: Goldilocks & the 3 Bears + Little Red Ridinghood. BOOOM.

Mama Bear with zazzzzy glasses.

Years of taking yearbook photos have taught me NOTHING.

Har har, AS ALWAYS.

It pays not to plan ahead.

With Jaya, it seems like we rarely get to where we're trying to "get" to. EFFFFS TO YOU, beach. I didn't want to tan my chesties anyway. Instead, we managed to find the Alpine Village Swap Meet off the 91 fwy and we each spent a $1 to basically sweat like baby piggies in a blanket.

"Repeat-er Disease": It should really be recognized by the AMA. Yarp. Oooohhhhh double dang!

As much as I hatesss bikers/bicyclists on the road (DREAM: to clip a indie-looking hipster on the elbow on York Blvd. GENTRIFICATION! Fist shaking in the air!!), I LOVELOVELOVE the 90s and this bike is screaming, "Coolness." THANK YOU Parker Lewis.

Jaya is trying to fill the navajo-inspired-pouch-necklace-sized hole that's been haunting her DREAMS. Woka woka!

--- After losing 9042399 lbs. in sweat, we moved on to the Memory Lanes Thrift Store Mall in Torrance where we made out like BANDITS. But not really. Somebody bust out the world's tiniest violin for the following items that we, regrettably, didn't buy (but we were self-hating enough to taking pictures of). BOOM.

A deer-with-antlers brass goblet. SLAMMIN', but not for $160. At that price, I better be drinking gold.

In my mind, Jaya had to be jealous (JEALOUS.) of this eskmino doll's dreamy hirsute jacket (with matching pant).

Collectively, the two of us have amassed enough "funny" mugs to, I don't know, feed a small nation? I'm a little low on "I own too many mugs" jokes, so allls I'm gonna says is, "I'm good."

The best red jacket that she will NEVER buy.